Marriage

Marriage is one of the most important aspects of life, for a lot of reasons. There one that is super obvious, which is many of us wouldn’t exist without it. Then, there would be no dating at all because no one would have the desire to find a partner. We also have the legal aspects, not to mention the expenses during the actual wedding ceremony and reception, and the honeymoon. Basically marriage is more than just getting marry, it comes with a lot of things that we not even think about. Speaking of the wedding ceremony: There have been many statistics that show that if a couple pays more than 10,000 dollars on the entire ceremony, reception, etc. they’re more likely to divorce.

​I sometimes think that people just want the wedding to show off with their friends instead of really thinking of the commitment they are doing. We also have to think about or remember that back in times you used to co-habited before marriage, which also lead to more change to divorce. Let me explain why is that: we know it’s a lot more common now-a-days, but here’s what comes with it. Women often believe it’s a step towards marriage, while men just see it as moving in together, very rarely do they correlate it with marriage. Alongside that, they share food, beds, and the house, but rarely share anything else. They rarely share cars, insurance, money, and that transfers into marriage, when you should be sharing those things during marriage. When you don’t share those things, it creates a disconnect between the couple. His and Hers. Not “ours”.

When a couple goes straight to marriage, they tend to push everything to become ‘ours’. Bank accounts, insurance, house, groceries, cars. And it makes the decisions easier to manage because they’re forced to talk them out and make a decision together about any issues or discussion points. You’d think that would translate over into kids, should they choose to have them. A lot of men actually get left out of the process with kids while the mother takes a lot of the responsibility. This causes yet another disconnects between them due to the mother spending less time with the father. They begin to drift apart, and she isn’t as attentive to the husband, and even more critical of him. This is why most couples get divorced between their first and second kid, if they even have a second kid.

It’s also why it’s extremely important to make sure the father knows how to help, to have a bond with that kid, and also keep their bond with their wife. It’s important to have him there for every chance and every minute he can be in order to keep those bonds with his loved ones. Not only will it keep the bonds, but it’ll strengthen them too. As well, less stress on the mother during the time she’s healing from delivery. This is the important aspect of marriage. People leave home and become independent, but marriage takes inter-dependence to work correctly. If you’re both independent separately, nothing is going to go as you planned in marriage.

As well, if only one parent is involved in a child’s life, it can cause the kid to have mental issues/illnesses later in life. Having both actively involved helps the child’s development majorly. Not to mention, if the father isn’t there at least some of the time, he’ll likely miss large steppingstones that he should be there for. First steps, first words, first day of school, etc. And when issues arise, it’s important for the couple to work it out together. If both are turning to their parents with their problems instead of each other, nothing will be fixed, ever. And that will create a broken home for the child and parents, one that isn’t healthy. Marriage is supposed to be something that brings people together to the fullest, and you can’t do that if neither person makes an effort to.